Up until yesterday, I’ve always wondered what deep-fried turkey tastes like and if it’s as good as everyone says it is because I’ve never had it, and just like everyone else, I’ve seen those videos of some stupid, brave soul attempting to deep fry an entire bird in the backyard deep-fryer with some hilariously terrible outcome, like lighting their own face on fire! And since I’m neither brave, nor stupid, and I don’t have a turkey deep-fryer, I figured I’d never get the chance to taste one and just left it at that. But then it occurred to me that all this time, I could have called each of my friends to find out who was frying one for Thanksgiving and just showed up at dinner time. That would’ve been the smart thing to do! But fried turkey was never in the top ten of my fried food list.
It is now though.
This year I was invited to spend Thanksgiving with Elizabeth the Hiker and her family and of course I said yes since I knew they’d be terribly disappointed if I didn’t come, and at that point I had no idea what we were going to eat, but I knew it would be good! Upon my arrival, I was immediately offered a plate of homemade potato chips, which told me that this was going to be a good Thanksgiving! Some of them were golden and crispy, just like you would expect a homemade potato chip to be, and some got stuck together, so they came out more soft and pliable, like pan-fried potatoes, which was great because you got two different kinds! They were seasoned perfectly with lots of salt and pepper too. Elizabeth’s boyfriend, Keith the Turkey Cooker told me they were fried in peanut oil, I guess in case he thought I might have an allergy, which was very considerate of him even though he told me after I had already eaten half the plate (luckily, peanuts and I get along).
So as I was standing in the kitchen eating my potato chips, I happened to look outside and there in the backyard was a deep-fryer and I thought to myself “Oh boy, this is gonna be an excellent Thanksgiving!!” I mean, I wouldn’t want you to think that I’m not sympathetic or anything but how often do you get a chance to see one of those videos being made in real-time?! However, I found out shortly afterwards that the turkey was already in the fryer being cooked and for a moment I was really disappointed, but then I realized I was getting really hungry, so the sooner it was done, the better!
Anyone who has ever witnessed a turkey that’s come out of the deep-fryer knows that it is not a pretty sight and I’ve spared you any nightmares by not posting photos of it (instead, opting for photos of a 3 year old’s toys that my host was playing with). Anyway, the poor thing looked burnt to a crisp and the place where the stuffing would normally go, had become this black maw that stared ominously at you, like it’s been to hell and came back screaming before it died it’s horrible death!! Personally, I don’t think they should have exposed their favorite guest to such a horrible sight, and if I wasn’t so set on tasting deep-fried turkey, I would’ve just left! But when I finally got a taste of it, well it was just amazing and made me wonder what the hell took me so long to try it!? Deep frying the thing gave it this moist, intense turkey flavor, and though you can’t eat the skin because it gets completely burned off, it didn’t matter because the meat was more than satisfying just on its own. Now I want deep-fried turkey for every Thanksgiving!
Gee, I wonder what brave soul is going to invite me to dinner next year? I can’t wait…