Posts Tagged With: panaderia

What A Sweet Mexican!

So I found myself back in the less desirable part of town the other day and I’m starting to think that maybe it’s not so undesirable after all, since every time I go there, I find something really great for really cheap! For instance, there’s the new 99¢ Only store in that neighborhood and there’s always some crap I can find that I can mindlessly spend a few bucks on. I normally go to my local Dollar Tree store since it’s nicer, but since I was in the poor, I mean, lower-income neighborhood, I’d check out the 99¢ Only store for a change. Turns out, they mostly have the same crap except the 99¢ store is bigger and more obnoxious. It also has more food items like some sad-looking produce, giant tubs of mayonnaise, and a refrigerated section full of nondescript processed meats. Personally, I wouldn’t buy any of that stuff since it’s not designed for people like me. Just because I like to shop where the down-and-outers go, doesn’t mean I eat like a peasant!

Anyway, I noticed a panaderia in the same strip mall and I absolutely love Mexican pan! If you don’t already know, pan refers to the sweet bread and pastries that Mexican’s make, and they’re delicious! It’s the only type of Mexican that doesn’t give me a stomach ache! Now I’ve been to a couple of the other panaderias here in town and they were downright awful! They both sold me pan that was completely stale and way past it’s throw-me-out stage. You know, I think Mexicans try to put the squeeze on us unsuspecting white people. They must have seen me coming from a mile away since it’s pretty obvious that I’m not one of them, by just looking at me! Now I’m not saying that if I were Mexican, they wouldn’t have sold me the crappy stuff but… wait a second, yes I am saying that. But what I mean to say is that, what if I were Mexican? Would they have tried to sell me the crappy stuff anyway? Well, I guess I’ll never know since I’ll never be Mexican…


Perfect for a puta!

…and thank goodness for that!

Where was I? Oh yes, so I found this place called Franci’s Bakery Panaderia, which is kind of like a redundancy, isn’t it? And I would never have gone there to get myself some pan if it weren’t for one of my Mexican friends telling me that theirs was excellent and I should try it! Yes, of course I have a Mexican friend silly, I’m no racist! In fact, I have two Mexican friends! One just happens to clean my house, but she has a great affection for me! She always refers to me as a “puta”, which is a term of endearment in the Mexican culture!

So at Franci’s, all the goodies are displayed on shelves in glass cabinets that you help yourself to. That’s how it’s done at all the panaderias. You grab a tray and a pair of tongs and you choose which pastries you want, place ‘em on the tray and go up to the counter to pay for your selections. This is great because you can take your time looking over all the delicious goodies and not feel badly about somebody waiting in line behind you, while you have the counterperson go over each and every baked good, describing each one until you decide which one you want, like the obnoxious character that I got stuck behind the other day at another bakery! Jeez, this guy was a complete moron! He kept looking in the glass cabinet and pointing at each pastry and asking the counterperson “Now, what’s this one? And what’s that one?” Couldn’t he tell that I was really hungry and getting increasingly irritated by his rudeness and indecision?! I mean, I stood right behind him putting out all the bad vibes I could and sighing with frustration and shifting from foot to foot, and the guy still didn’t get it! I mean, what an IDIOT!! Thank goodness you don’t have to put up with that crap at a panaderia!

Anyway, there are so many different ones in different shapes and sizes, it’s hard to choose. I don’t know the names of the ones I got, but I got three of ‘em and they were all really yummy! Two of them had sugar sprinkled on the outside and were shaped like seashells. Plus, get this: they both contained a little bit of cinnamon… and I liked it! I know, I know, I normally hate cinnamon, but in this case it was really good! The third one was a biscuit and it was better than the one I normally eat. There wasn’t a stale one in the bunch either! On top of that, the nice girl behind the counter even replaced one of them because she said that it didn’t feel fresh enough! She even said this to me in English, which just goes to show you; there are some educated Mexicans out there! My total bill came to about two bucks and some change, and you can’t beat that, not even at the 99¢ Only store!

Franci’s pan is pantastic! *snicker* I’ll definitely be going there on a regular basis and I highly suggest that all of you put aside your narrow-mindedness and racism and make a trip to the poor neighborhood to support your local Mexican, just like I do!

Franci’s Bakery Panaderia

1080 E. Ave De Los Arboles

Thousand Oaks, CA



Categories: Breakfast, Food, Humor, Pastries, Satire | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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