Someone asked me the other day how far I would travel for some yummy food and I thought about it: I’m an Eatie, and part of that is being willing to satisfy my cravings at a moment’s notice, so if I’m craving something that’s made in say, Hawaii, why wouldn’t I go there to get it?
Well, the problem I have is that being a single gal on a budget, the funds don’t match the enthusiasm, if you know what I mean. Now for some strange reason, I keep getting freebies from strange men, and not the kind of freebies you’re thinking of right now, and certainly not the kind of freebie that would constitute my trip to Hawaii. This freebie happened to be two vouchers for lobster appetizers that I received from the general manager at the only good Hawaiian restaurant that I know of, and luckily, I don’t have to board a plane, get squeezed into a tiny seat, and make small-talk to strangers to get it! Although, it is Hawaii we’re talking about so if the opportunity arose, I’d certainly suck it up and get on that damned plane. But I didn’t have to, so I settled for the next best thing: the Valley.
Uh, okay yeah, not the next best thing. In fact, not in a million years would it be the next best thing to Hawaii unless the Pacific ocean’s level rose high enough to wash everything in the Valley out, which would be a vast improvement if you ask me! But no woman is an island, so I made the drive to Woodland Hills so I could enjoy some free Hawaiian lobster appetizers at Roy’s. If you haven’t been there yet, I highly suggest you go because the food is really yummy and the atmosphere can make you feel like you’ve been transported to a tropical island! I went there for happy hour since the prices at Roy’s can compete with the cost of an airline ticket, and I planned to get there early enough to enjoy my food and hightail it out of there before Friday-Hell-Traffic struck, but I was running late and didn’t get there until after 4 pm, which turned out to be good because Roy’s doesn’t even open until 4:30. When I got there, I saw that there were already a handful of people waiting to get in, which told me that if you want to get a seat in the bar, you’d better get there in Hawaiian time, not Californian time.
Now I thought it would be really authentic to describe my experience using the Hawaiian language, but since it contains only the seven consonants HKLMNPW, and the five vowels AEIOU, it would end up looking something like this:
He lile pake o ie wonon ou ‘eh onaine’ he wee lo ‘e i ou he lae wa ile wehi ea ilke!
Luckily I was writing about lobster and not the state fish of Hawaii, which is the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a!
And really, the only language we speak in California anymore is Mexican anyway, so I decided against it.
So as you know, I’m not a martini drinker but since I was going to get Hawaiian-style food, I thought wine just wouldn’t cut it for me, so I opted for their Hawaiian martini, which was really tasty, and it’s only six bucks during happy hour, which they call Aloha hour *snicker*. Anyway, it tasted just great with coconut-ey and pineapple-ey flavors. I did notice that it was considerably short on the pour, seeing as how it didn’t even come close to the rim of the martini glass like a martini should, so I felt a little cheated.
The vouchers I had were for one order of their lobster pot stickers and one order of their lobster roll. The pot stickers came out first and they were absolutely delicious! The crispy little packets of fried dough contained sweet lobster meat mixed with ginger and scallions that had great flavors, but that wasn’t the best part; the plate was drizzled with this creamy, silky miso butter and sweet soy reduction that you dip the pot stickers in, and it was soooo amazing, I wanted to rub it all over my body like sun tanning lotion and spend the rest of the day licking it off! The lobster roll came out next, and kinda like a storm disrupting your tropical vacation… it was a big letdown. It was just like a California roll but with lobster instead of crab and it was too mayonaiss-ey and completely lacking in flavor. I think they should make the roll with just the lobster meat and leave the mayo out. It would give it a really clean flavor and allow the delicate lobster to come through. Plus, it took almost 30 minutes to get it for some reason, and to wait that long just to get disappointed, reminded me of having sex with my ex!
So would I go back to Roy’s? Well, the bar got really packed so I felt like I was on an airplane since I was squeezed between two strangers, my martini was short on the pour, and the lobster roll that took too long wasn’t any good, but I’d have to say…
Voy a volver a los pot stickers! Viva la Roy’s!
6363 Topanga Canyon. Blvd.
Woodland Hills, CA