My Cabbage Cup Runeth Over!

Your life has to be pretty boring to get excited over a salad served in a cabbage cup!

If you think about it, the cabbage cup is such a stupid presentation, there’s nothing original about it. It’s totally dated, like, from the 80s!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Woman of the 80s, so I love everything about it; the music, the fashions, the hair styles, the words “like” and “totally”! I think I even have a leftover stash of coke lying around somewhere that didn’t end up my nose! It was the “Me” era, and let’s face it, that’s the best kind! But still, a cabbage cup? Really?

Food has trends, just like fashion, hair styles, music and probably drugs, although I wouldn’t know what the hell those are now since my drug of choice these days is sugar!

So if you want your restaurant to be viewed as dated, use the cabbage cup! And if you want to be viewed as even more dated, then serve tartar sauce with your fish! Sure, they’re classics, and the classics are always a safe bet… if you want to be a moron! I mean, c’mon, cabbage cups and tartar sauce? What’ll they bring back next, fondue?!

Anyway, I happened to experience those exact two outdated food trends recently, and the only thing I hate more than awful food trends making a reappearance, is repeating myself, and like I said, I hate awful food trends and repeating myself! I ended up going to a place I’d already been to and written about, so now I’m stuck writing about them and their stupid cabbage cup! Why? Because their fish was worse, so I figured, write about the goddamned cabbage cup! Either way, they’re screwed.

I’m referring to Lure Fish House in Westlake. My first visit there was at the Camarillo location and I went for their oysters, which were fantastic! But since they opened up another location in nearby Westlake, I figured I’d go there since I was craving some fish and it’s closer. My friend, Dan Photoshop 4.0, came with me, since he likes fish too.

Well Dan was the one who got the cabbage cup salad with his dish and we oooh’d and aaah’d over the stupid thing when they brought it to the table, since I hadn’t seen one since, like, the 80s, and it was all so goddamned stupid! It’s a friggin’ cabbage cup, not an ice sculpture for crying out loud! I even took a goddamned photo of it, if you can believe that!


Am I that bored?!

What a couple of morons, sheesh!

A lettuce wrap would’ve almost been better, even though that trend is already starting to lose its luster. Seems restaurants use the term “lettuce wrap” with a loose interpretation too, because the other day, I was having lunch with a friend at another place and she ordered something the restaurant referred to as a lettuce wrap, but it was just a bunch of chicken sitting on top of a romaine lettuce leaf! It was really a romaine lettuce cup! In fact, that’s all the lettuce wrap really is; a lettuce cup disguised as a lettuce wrap!

These restaurants seem like just a bunch of goddamned liars! Outdated liars!


Anyway, I won’t tell you about the fish since I said I wasn’t going to and I don’t like to repeat myself, but just so you know, I ordered halibut and it came with goddamned tartar sauce and it tasted fishy! By the way, how come we don’t we go around using that term about meat or chicken? For instance:

“Hey, my burger tastes meaty. Do you think it’s fresh?” or, “This chicken sure does taste chickeny! I wonder if there’s something wrong with it.”

No, because meaty and chickeny make them sound really good, right? But not “fishy”. No one likes that word. So I guess that answers that question, but it doesn’t answer this question: Why the hell do they still make cabbage cups?!

Lure Fish(y) House

30970 Russell Ranch Rd.

Westlake, CA


Categories: Food, Humor, Seafood | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “My Cabbage Cup Runeth Over!

  1. I’m not a woman of the 80’s, but more of a man of the 80’s. I’ve gotta say that the 80’s were a unique decade, which I am almost certain will never be replicated again. I also have to say that I didn’t enjoy it like I should have because I was too busy being a elementary school dork, a junior high loser, and high school geek. I had way more hair and way less weight then too.

Have you digested this?

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