If you haven’t already noticed, I have the characteristic of seeking out, and getting, a good deal! What is a good deal, exactly? Well, that’s a good question and I put some thought into it so I could put across to you what it is that I consider the meaning of a good deal, and I came up with the following:

Obtaining, through purchase, an item that is or isn’t of value to oneself, at a reduced rate of actual or perceived value, whether you want and/or need it; a bargain price.

I ran this information by my credit card company therapist to get her input and she completely agreed with my assessment! She also stated that because I always use my credit card, since it delays any payment, it makes me even more of a bargain shopper, and I agree completely! Gosh, I’m so smart!

And the following words are used to describe someone who likes, and seeks out, a good deal:

  • Frugal
  • Economical
  • Budget-conscious
  • Penny-pinching
  • Parsimonious
  • Cheap

Notice that I did not use the word “smart” and that’s because the New Oxford American Dictionary does not include that word when describing someone who likes a good deal, which I think is stupid, because anyone who can find a good deal is smart, not cheap… or parsimonious!

Anyway, because I like to seek out a good deal, I often find myself in the candy aisle of one of the local dollar stores, which brings me to another characteristic; sugarholic.

What do these characteristics have in common other than an addictive quality? Probably nothing, except I happened to find out how to combine the two to satisfy my characteristic of being a budget-conscious gal with a sweet-tooth (cheapsugarholic).

Yes, I love sugar in all forms; candy, cakes, cookies, chocolate, fruit (wine), breakfast, lunch, dinner… you get the idea, and candy happens to be one of my favorites! So every time that sugar craving kicks in, I can go to one of the dollar stores and get my candy at a bargain price! Well, at least I think it’s at a bargain price because I do notice that the packages are much smaller than compared to what you would get at a regular store, and some of the brands I’ve never heard of… but still, they always have new stuff and on occasion, they’ve even carried some really quality candy, like one of my favorite brands of chocolate: Lindt truffles! Yes, they’re in these tiny little packages and I’m not sure if I’m paying more per ounce than if I’d just buy the regular size from the regular store, but when you’re standing right in front of it, and it’s only one dollar, who am I to question?

Now you’re not going to find a lot of your favorite name brands, but some of the more name-brand candy makers sell their rejects there (items they made that didn’t sell on the regular market) so they don’t lose any profit, in what we professionals refer to as the grey market. It’s where name-brand companies sell their non-profitable items at a discounted (cheap) price to cheap (discounted) places so they don’t lose money. Or in other words; Capitalism.

Not in my mouth buddy!

Not in my mouth buddy!

But you have to be careful about what you choose because some of them look like they don’t taste very good and some of these reject items are downright suggestive, like the Juicy Oozers gummy candy (on your right)! Why don’t they just cut to the chase and call them Juicy Gushers or Juicy Squirters! I mean, you can see what they’re trying to sell here and it’s not candy, let me tell you that!! Personally, I don’t want any juicy, oozey thing put into my mouth…


and the Peas and Carrots candy made by the folks at JellyBelly, in which the carrots are supposed to taste like orange sherbet and the peas like green apple, according to the packaging. Now who the hell thought that was a good idea?!

Stupid R&D guy:  “Hey, I have an idea: let’s take candy and turn it into a vegetable shape, which will appeal to mothers trying to get their bratty, snot-nosed children to eat their vegetables!”

Eat your veggies dumbass!

Eat your veggies, dumbass!

Let’s hope that guy got fired.

There were plenty of other strange candies that some other penny-pincher might like but not me, and I certainly can’t blame these companies for making this crap and then trying to sell it, since they’re probably just trying to be economical, as misguided as they are. I mean, we could all be a little more frugal these days, right?

I say just don’t get addicted to sugar in the first place and save yourself a whole lot of therapy! Unless it’s too late because your mother fed you candy that was shaped liked vegetables when you were little.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I am completely worn out from trying to explain all of this to you and I need to go get a sugar fix!

Categories: Food, Humor | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Cheapsugarholic

  1. Don’t be hating on the juicy oozers lol think they also have a more sour version of the sort as well. When I do have to go to the dollar store, candy aisle is my favorite because of the different/weird stuff they have as well as a nice selection of “throwback” candies.

  2. richiew13

    Why would Juicy Gusher or Juicy Squirter be a better name?

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