No one has been more disappointed than I these past couple of weeks when it came to food, and the disappointing experiences I, uh… experienced. Unless you actually went to these places yourself after reading about my disappointing experiences and subsequently experienced a disappointing experience yourself. Then you’d be disappointed… and stupid!
In spite of my disappointments, I still went out to eat (because I had to), but I inadvertently ended up eating food that I’ve already eaten and written about, which is counterproductive since any money I spend should be spent on any new dishes that I can write about, not dishes I’ve already tried. That’s because I’m a single gal on a single budget, and, I’m a writer on top of that, so you can just imagine what my bank account looks like! So I need to switch it up from week to week. But after I put some thought into it, I decided “Hey, why not make some comparisons against the places that I had gone to for these dishes, and the places I visited this week, and give you my highly respected opinion?”
Gosh, I’m so smart… and good-looking… why the hell am I single?!
So I compared Mexican and Asian, but not against each other. Although if I had to compare Mexicans and Asians this would be my assessment:
- Mexicans are the hardest working people I know, even though they do it begrudgingly, usually against White people in general, but sometimes against Asians. They work harder, rather than smarter, probably because they don’t speak English and can’t read the directions.
- Asians are the smartest people I know because they work smarter, rather than harder, usually by employing Mexicans and lending America tons of cash. They remain smarter than White people, even though White people think they’re stupid because that’s how they’re portrayed on T.V. shows. They aren’t stupid at all, just horrible drivers who should stick to taking the bus!
- I always see Mexicans waiting at the bus stop, but never Asians, which tells me that there are way too many Asians on the road, although Mexican drivers fall right behind the Asians in the shitty-driver department!
- I always see tons of Asians at the Mac Store, but hardly any Mexicans, which tells me Mexicans can’t grasp technology whatsoever, or they can’t afford it. But then again, no one can grasp technology like the Asians, which makes sense because all of our gadgets are made in China, not Mexico!
Let me start with Asian food:
This was my favorite place to get an Asian noodle fix, but it’s all the way in Simi Valley, which means I have to drive all the way out there, and who the hell likes to drive to that dump? Well I did… to get my Pho. Luckily, I found this place really close to me called Thousand Wok, in Thousand Oaks (get it?) that makes Pho that’s just as good as the one in Simi Valley!
How can Pho differ from place to place anyway when it’s really just noodle soup, and noodle soup is noodle soup, right? Well, no. For one thing, we’re not talking about Salvadoran chicken soup where they call it chicken soup and it’s not chicken soup! This is soup, and you get what you order (soup). Additionally, Pho should be made by Vietnamese cooks, so it’s authentic. So at first I was worried about ordering it because Thousand Wok offers a mixture of Asian cuisines, which seems to be the stupid trend going on right now, and not all Asian cuisines are the same. I know they all look the same, but that doesn’t mean they should all be mixed together! Like I always say, stuff like that should be kept separate, otherwise you create confusion, resentment and mixed race, I mean, rice dishes! They offer Japanese, Chinese, and Vietnamese, all on one menu. Personally, I don’t think that a Chinese chef should try to master sushi, just like I don’t think a Japanese chef should try to master Pho. But their Pho was delicious, and you know why? Because their main chef is Vietnamese! But not only that, their sushi chef is Japanese, and the owner is Chinese (not sure how the Chinese dishes would come out).
Okay, the Mexican food:
On one of my many morning trips to Franci’s Bakery for some pan, I noticed a sign on their door saying that they offered homemade tamales, so I went back later that day to get my lunch. Well when I got there, they only had two left! They said they run out fast so when they have them, I should get them right away. These were chicken, and they were waaaay better than the frozen ones I got from the Cart last week! The differences between the two, besides the taste and quality, is the preparation; Mexicans wrap their tamales in corn husks instead of banana leaves and the Mexicans don’t add potatoes like the Salvadorans do. But these were pretty darn good, and they were super cheap! I think it was three bucks for two of ‘em.
I know what you’re thinking; Salvadorans are not the same as Mexicans, and you’d have a point, except that they speak the same language, so for socio-economic reasons, I just lump ‘em together. C’mon, the rest of America does it all the time! No, I am not racist, I’m the last person to be racist, I’m part Italian, remember? We don’t have racism in Italy against other cultures! Why do I have blonde hair and fair skin if I’m Italian, you ask? Because I’m Northern Italian, and we’re a purer race than the dark-haired, dark-skinned Southern Italians, whose purity was lost when they mixed with all the North African, Turkish and Greek peasants; unlike in Northern Italy where we bred with other noble White people… like the Germans! Sheesh, don’t you know your history?!
So I got through my disappointments this week and everything turned out alright, which made me realize that once you can accept that life is a series of disappointments, you can be happy!
450 N Moorpark Rd
Thousand Oaks, CA