I really loved jelly doughnuts when I was growing up. I’d always get two of them when we went to the doughnut shop, and I never ate any other kind of doughnut either, only jelly. Al, a guy I work with, well he just loves ‘em too, but his wife won’t allow him to eat any. I guess she’s trying to save his life or something since he’s in his seventies. There are lots of things you should probably restrict from your diet but jelly doughnuts? They just don’t seem that harmful: they’re deep fried dough, stuffed with a red, sticky goo they call jelly and then dipped in a hot sugar glaze…
Anyway one day, some of us at work thought it would be a nice gesture if we got Al some, so I went and got him four at the doughnut shop because we all really like him since he’s just the sweetest guy and really fatherly and on a restricted diet. It was about two in the afternoon and I had to call three places before I found someone who still had them at that un-godly hour of the day. I’m glad I found them at the Donut Depot on Thousand Oaks Blvd.
I told the lady who answered the phone that we needed jelly doughnuts stat, and did she have any? She did, she had four and did I want all of them? YES! She said she’d put them aside for me in case anyone else with a weird afternoon jelly doughnut fetish showed up and took them all (she didn’t say that last part). She asked me my name and I told her and she didn’t even blink, which I thought was very courteous, and then I asked her what her name was and she told me “Sam”. When I arrived, Sam was in the back, looking very busy making what looked to be some kind of doughnut masterpiece. “I’ll be right with you!” she said, in her sing-song-y voice. When she came out front, I declared to her that it was I who called about the jelly doughnuts. Well not only was Sam super friendly as she wrapped them up in the pink box you get at every doughnut shop in the country, the masterpiece she was making in the back… was for ME! It was a glazed doughnut cut in half horizontally, smeared with whipped cream, then filled with fresh strawberries and the top put back on. It was a doughnut sandwich. Genius!!
At first, I wasn’t sure if I’d like it, seeing as how I was sworn to jelly doughnuts in my youth, but as soon as I bit into it, I knew it was the right thing to do. I shared it with Tara at work because she happens to be really nice all the time. Plus, I knew I couldn’t eat the entire thing myself without my stomach planning its revenge. So we ate the thing standing up in the kitchen, mumbling mmmm…. the whole time while licking glazed sugar from our lips and cream from our fingers. Nothing against Al, but it was waaay better than his jelly doughnuts. And anyway, we didn’t tell him about it since we didn’t want to upset his wife.